Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
do herpes really smell.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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