It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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