i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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