who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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