They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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