please come you make the beer taste better
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
