Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
