and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
