She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
