dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
