So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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