Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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