So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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