i barfeds in our rink
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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