The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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