I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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