I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
