i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
