The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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