We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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