with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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