I swear she didn't look like that last week.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
