I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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