How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
