If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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