SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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