Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
