How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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