It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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