Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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