:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
