two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
