Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
