my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
