"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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