Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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