they need to just BURY HIM!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
