I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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