Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
