erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
