found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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