She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
