I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
