forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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