i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
