I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
