laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
