i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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