know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
