The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
